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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 3:00 pm Here are some funny blonde jokes
A blond was crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest."
"Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
"What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks.
"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister.
Her mother died, too!"
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A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!!"
So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk.
"What's that," he asked?
"Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,"
she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied..... "Two popsicles and some coffee."
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Two Blondes With Hammers...
Carol and Donna , were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.Donna , figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"
Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."
Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
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Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see "Closed for the winter."
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A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
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Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work, But, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "Crazy" Then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, So, that the Boss might think I was "Crazy" and give me a few days off.
In A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.He said, "You are clearly stressed out."Go home and recuperate for a couple of days." I jumped down and walked out of the office...When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, "..And where do you think you're going?!" (You're gonna love this....)
She said, "I'm going home,too. I can't work in the dark."
LMAO Thank you Charla
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