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Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2015 6:02 am -
Once upon a time, there was a ugly duckling that had a horrible losing streak at the casino ... but the ugly duckling decided to try something new. He decided to play no limit poker.
But what is the limit? He walked into the room and sat down at the table and asked what limit was that's your call duck!
Just then Bower pulled up a chair and said then I am leaving!!! You had a bad run ... Soon after came Catlicker with a board game. It was Operation. Nono says thank god. Lets play this. I haven't played in years and from what I remember I was a very good player until I met that lady called Rita. She was like a dragon in a igloo! With green hair and flame coming out of her nose and smoke coming out of her ears with a message that said nobody can beat me at this game! Lets get it on Mr Quack!!
All of a sudden everyone looked up and saw the northern lights. They were soooooo amazing to a first time viewer and as the sunrise slowly arrived above the horizon you could see Mr Sun. It was very hot and burning and purple eyes beaming down on me.
Well lets go play some slots! We can go. No lets just do it. Now which slot eenie meenie minie moe lets pick the one with all the free bonuses to enjoy! Good idea!!! It is and when we win we can share with Crushers!!! That is fine but if we lose you will have to face that dreadful Halloween devil and give out candy to all the old timers that couldn't get out of the town to play bingo! Instead they went to a carnival where all of the crushers were partying around a Merry Go Round where they saw Maw and Pa spinning away on the fishing game.
Ma screamed as Pa said look what I got. A blue fin tuna. Not a fish Ma said. Pa looked at ma and said damn! What do you want woman??? Can't you see I am busy? I want to go to 7-11 for nachos. Lady I'm busy!! You can ask Rita for a ride.
Oh no I am taking the bus to .. no I'm taking the car! You will have to stop or walk the 20 miles in the rain. What's your response Mister??? Pa looked down and said maybe they'll deliver if I ask and pay but lady you better enjoy. Its you that better enjoy!!!
I'm freezing my fish that I caught. lol Maybe it will be worth 1,000,000 or more so ... what you talkin about Willis? Reading this story.
Meanwhile a storm is brewing again in the west. A huge flash of lightening. Everyone ran for cover and they sky opened up and down came Valentino with his kilt flying high and he promptly called Bingo!!! But there wasn't any bingo oops I meant umbrellas. Everyone stook in awwwww, he always yells Bingo. After checking it Rita said he doesn't have bingo but he has nice buns and a big love for all CC'ers.
Well now what will he do with the colored chips that fell from the kilt that was ripped from his body by the violent wind. He was shocked! He then proceeded to try to make it to the wooded area where he thought he saw a lovely enticing young female goddess who was called NonoNanette and she was very pleased to see a friend. Wait a minute this handsome stranger with the tall white steed is standing alone over by the weeping willow tree and handing out little pieces of candy. It is not to eat but to throw at the cat and the hat for a prize.
Oh Yeah I want one!!! One is not enough because you can never have just one you want to fill up on sugar but that makes you shaky so you refuse and take a stick of gum from that lady in orange who asked regular or sugar free. Just give me he yelled. The lady in orange said I'll get you my pretty! Oh lady be nice! You say as you chew, Thank you!
Well now we must do what we usually do and go to the casino. Something about Shirlsplay she does not seem to be on top of the story. She didn't read back far enough for the story line so start so a new one was started.
Once upon a time under a big willow tree there was a big hole that led to a magnificent underground city that had bright lights and many strange, beautiful creatures who were small and wore diapers. There were also some cute kittens that would bark when Cowboy Fan made faces at Nono and called her every hour because he just wanted to bug her until she let him win at something ... cards, slots, tug of war ... anything!
But she was not gonna let that happen until he took out the garbage! But the garbage can was filled so the garbage had to go to a dump near by behind a 7-11 store and he wasn't walking there. Who strolled along streets of Reno looking for a bowling stadium that had slot machines and something to eat that is not very messy, so there cheap and quick he found a small cafe on the corner of Sesame Street where you will find the usual crowd of people talking about birds and cookies that are on the slots.
Then suddenly the talking stopped! A magical wand appeared and Maggie used it to cast a spell on the people of sesame street because they needed to be updated to the current events and how to keep up with the story. lol
Well Big Bird was anxious because Elmo already lost his blanket! And Snoopy was on doghouse with Charlie Brown looking for Lucy and the rest of his peanuts. Then along came tigger asking where the booze and food were?
Jessica Rabbit, aka Peter Rabbit, pointed towards the golden tree house door. The door opened and out came Orange Crush with her drink. You need a card hun she said. Where do I get a card? The card store of course. Then I'm on my way. I don't think that's where you go. Catch the naked running HeffeLamon and tell him you'll trade a piece of clothing, he needs to cover up his tracks. Meanwhile ... he also needs to cover tigger. Still hungry headed back to Reno cause that is where ...
------------- and we continue lol
he left his condoms that were multicolored and ... plenty to go around as he headed back, suddenly ... there appeared Shirlsplay in a pink tutu waving ... He smiled to himself as he waved ... But he was undressing Shirls as she tried to cover his eyes he said hey who turned off the lights!!! Now I can't see nothing, how am I going to win on the roulette table?
With my help said Count Von Count. I have special powers. Repeat after me ... 1, 2 buckle my belt, put your chips on black and even and hope that red comes up ... but its just my luck that I'll win a lot and then lose it in taxes.
OMG don't you know that you need to take small amounts that way you keep most of your sanity! Haha, don't any thing for what was over there. I can't see it!!! What a government sign saying gambling is only legal if you play max amount and never cash out except when there's a rain storm and it never rains in Southern California I've heard.
Good thing he is in ...
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the bath tub with lots of bubbles so he can trick himself into floating away in a bubble to thinking he's a pirate yarrrrgh!! And he could cash out his winnings that he won so he went to find the magic rainbow with a pot of gold at the end. Though to claim it you must be a leprechaun from Ireland who can jump over the rainbow. But we all know that with their short legs they would have to run up a tree and jump up onto the multicolored bow to slide down to that pot.
Jingle jangle jingle ... he landed smack in the middle of an empty pot. Irish mashed potatoes and mushy green spinach. Now he was as green as kermit the frong and he felt like a frog too. What good enough to eat. Oh no I better shower!!!
I need Gloria to clean my car so I can drive us both to maw's house to have dinner with ma and pa. They are off to the bowling ally with Bert and Ernie following slowly behind them. But there was a bad crash. Oh that can't be that catlicker rick again. What is he up to??? cumpster diving maybe ... or hunting a cat??? I hope its not Pepe LePew!!! Skunk OH NO he caught the skunk and it skunked him ... yikes ... now he will need to go to the nearest farm to get lots of him just as Pepe ran into the forrest to looking for a new place to eat a new sucker to spray with the smell, than he can go to the casino and put all his money on the winning numbers on the Roulette wheel hoping that they would hit and he could buy a hot tub to soak and get rid of that LePew funk, that really stuck!!!
The wheel is spinning! Stopping on 26 Black. He was a big winner and went to collect but he tripped over someone's feet and he fell on another player Oscar the Grouch Trash Can Man. He got up quickly ...
and ran to cash out. He did Yayyy lol and Thank you all for your funny story!!! I loved it!!!