March 2012, Posting Contest Winners Announced

Hello Crushers!!!

Crushers we really do appreciate your help with getting our post count up!!! Thank you all so very much for your help!!!

This idea is from Bower50. Thank you so much for the great idea Archie!!!

Crushers, please post a joke ...

One of my favorite things to do is laugh and I am really looking forward to LMAO all month long!!! lol

Please keep in mind we are adults here however some jokes maybe offense to others.

Please enter as much as you'd like, however please allow someone to post in between your posts please.

Here's my first joke:

Construction Workers Lunch

Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building. The italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says "Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" The chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says "Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says" Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time im going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"

So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death. That weekend at the funeral, the italian and the chinese wives are crying and saying "I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me." And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she isn't sad about her husbands death, the blonde replys "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."

LOL

Why was six afraid of seven ?


seven eight nine.

only joke i can remember..... LoL:)

How come I only remember the stupid jokes lol Your's was funny Shirls lol thank you!!! I did a google check for a few different sites for jokes and included the links in my post above.

I received an email from a friend that I figured would be appropriate here lol

Its called "Why men die first" lol

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
"Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

A woolly jumper!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh!

Men are crazy... I would never do any of that stupid stuff...lol

funny webdeb and kid.

got this one from ritas link.......

What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?


Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO that's funny

What is invisable and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.

0 to 200 in 6 seconds

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

OMG!!!!!! That was funny webdeb.

What is the difference between and Virgin and a washing machine?


A: The washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it!

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”
The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”
“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”

A couple were going to a Halloween Costume party. The wife came down the stairs with nothing but a pair of boots. The husband promptly went in the kitchen and came back with nothing on but a frying pan.
His wife asked what he was doing.
He replied, "If you can go as puss and boots, I can go as Peter Pan."

Archie I love your contest idea!!! I love to laugh and I'm getting a LOT of that!!! lol Thank you hun!!!