Shopping With The Wife. 23 Jul 2009

Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 6:28 pm Shopping with the wife.

I got this joke via email. I LOL'd.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to
browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the
local Target.

Dear Mrs.Hudson,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have
been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints
against your husband, Mr. J. Hudson are listed below and
are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
other people's carts when they weren't looking

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off
at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away?.
This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and
receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted
with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring
pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave
me alone?' Police were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used
it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO!
IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

The last straw was:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet
paper in here. One of the clerks passed out.

_________________