In Regards To "disturbed Friends"

I am not sure I should post this

Ever since RC posted the topic about disturbed friends, I have been thinking about this off and on. What if there were a disturbed friend (crusher) who has gone beyond the point of being able to make jokes and laugh about it? What if there were a person who cried instead of laughed when they were reading all of the responses? What if this person felt so alone that they didn't know of anyone to talk to about it?

Would it be inappropriate to post something here about it? Should they find a different forum that is more centered on "issues"? After all this is a gaming site, where we share when and where we had played and had fun.

All of these questions have been going through my mind. I am nervous about asking these questions. I really appreciate that I have somewhere to ask these sorts of questions. Thank you all so much

gjr...yes this is a gaming site to discuss gaming wins promotions etc....but its also got areas to post on any topic no matter what it is within reason...and as most crushers get on well with each other then if someone has a problem or something they need to talk or want help with then yes they should post as there are plenty of people that could give them advice or try to cheer them up etc or others that could pm them in private if it was something they didn't want everyone knowing...well thats just my opinion anyway if it helps you

Hi gloria ,i am one of those disturbed friends, i can put on a great front of being able to handle a lot of things but behind it all -i have been lonely my whole life. i am 32 , i have 3 lovely kids ,ashton who was adopted by my brother 7 years ago, georgia 6 who has the biggest heart of anyone i have have ever known and sadie 3 who is my baby and knows it.
i also have a son jordan who is 9 now but lives in heaven, he died when he was a baby and since that happened i feel myself to be dead inside.don't get me wrong i love my children and sometimes can not believe that god gave them to me but i also feel so seperat from them that i may as well be on another planet. it is not just with them, i live in ireland with no family around me at all and no friends as i find it so very hard to make friends, which may be to do with my childhood , i can't trust which made me hard in situations and therefore i think often of the negative before any chance of friendship can begin.i am on antidepressants and have been for the last 4 years i see a councillor because i feel that i should try for my childrens sake to make myself well.it is a struggle every single day to get out of bed as there is so much going on inside my head that i would rather sleep and not think about it , but i force myself to .royals post in all honesty did not affect me as i love royal and her honesty and in turn gloria i love you for bringing up this subject as not many people can face this and realise that yes we are all sad and lonely for whatever reason at one point or another in our lives but there are people such as YOU that aren't prepared to brush it under the carpet.
So thankyou from the bottom of my broken heart.
melissaxxxxx

kelmel just read your post and found it quite moving...i wont say sorry to hear your story as i know sympathies the last thing you want...... but the basis of it all is true that many people have so many problems but they put a brave face on it as if everyones ok...im pretty much the same in that basically the only family ive got that i know as i dont really see any relations are my kids and partner although you could say its definetely not a happy relationship and thats an understatement but thats life lol tho id do anything for my two boys...and away from them you could say my whole lifes crepe basically and can't remember last time i could truly say i was happy but i just plod on as no other choice although everyday i wish life could be so different .... lol i could go into details about many problems but i wont as i just accept things will never change and my highlight in lifes the occasional bottle of vodka and gambling online which i do because im so feckin fed up all the time......but like yourself i make out lifes great and try to make jokes about things.....on a lighter note tho i might owe you an apoligy as until i read your last post i never knew you were a woman as for some reason i always thought you were a man...dunno why i thought that lol

broxi thankyou so much for your response hin. it is so hard isn't it ? at times in our lives and i won't say everyday but most days to just carry on and make that something-anything.our children play the biggest part of our days and yet at the end of that day we still fret every single time that our dark thoughts/depression won't rub off on them, but we hang on in there because we don't want them to grow up the way we grew up and we want to be that better parent( sorry sobbing now) but it feels so so very lonely to do that and then go backwards to when we were children, and inevitably those memories come back as much as we try to hide and push them away.i always try to just take each day as it comes broxi and i feel that you are of the same mould, but i also have a quite hope that i will feel differently one day .i will wake up and those feelings of despair and lonliness will be long forgotten.
thankyou broxi
melissaxxxx

Dear Friends ~ (and I do not use the word "friend" lightly) ~

First,I thank you for your openess and your honesty.

Second, I thank you for trusting me and other Crushers with your feelings.

Third, this is exactly the place to make such a post as your original one here. We are not a typical gaming forum, by any means. We all sense the difference, I'm sure. Those who believe only in play and finding free money don't stick around long. Those who feel that mysterious undefined kinship we share, stay and together we form a very close family of friends in the true sense of the word. Some of us have been together for many years, moving together from forum to forum as ones in the past have gone out of business and together we have moved to another.

Fourth, I thank you for expressing what so many others here feel as well.

Unfortunately, I found your post here at this time when I have almost no time to respond. But I have at least a hundred things I would like to share with you.

I hope to respond with much more later. I am posting this now just to let you know that this kind of posting is quite appropriate because we ARE different. Also because so many of us live with deep issues that we cannot let get the best of us -- and so importantly, we feel a responsibility and an honor to help one another and to have one another to help us.

My personal belief is that the world would be a much better place with MORE posting of this type.

If anyone can understand a Crusher, it is another Crusher. Sometimes I truly believe that it is no accident that we all ended up here together -- because we all have so much in common.

One of those things is understanding natures and deep feelings.

Post on, my friends. I, too, will keep checking back here.

RC/RoyalCrush/Bobbie

I just wanted to post back here and thank a few people for last weekend.
When Gloria posted this topic , there were two choices for me , to ignore it or to speak up and stop pretending that everything is A.O.K.
And Gloria if you read this then the latter has been the most healing for me ,and for that i thankyou so so very much for broaching this delicate and at times taboo subject.To come to a forum and lay your soul bare for me has been cathartic - so many emotions that have been held in the deepest darkest corner of me for the longest time! are finding their way toward the brightest light. for the first time in a very very long time i feel to be amongst friends- Sandy, bobby Donna,Marlene Sharon and Broxi- from me to you , there are no words my friends.

kel my friend,
i truley hope the best for you. may your light shine bright and strong in the days ahead. starting over is the best part of healing and sharing your thoughts among friends is the best thing to do. as you know....if you keep those feelings bottled up..you will bust! i am so happy that you are feeling better hun. should you need to talk you can PM me anytime as im sure that goes for the rest of the CC'ers here.
hugs hun.
sharon

Hi,


Melissa you are a very brave woman and your candor is much appreciated...I myself have been depressed for over 20yrs and have had some days when my children were young when I didn't get out of bed and my ex-husband who didn't at the time understand depression took care of the kids..I would be litterally in the fetal position and felt so numb and raw that if someone hit me I would not have felt it..

Although I am still on meds for anxiety and depression I find in the last
6-8 months that a cloud has totally lifted for me and I feel free and can actually see a light at the end of the tunnel..I like you have ALWAYS had a hard time trusting anyone and I find myself even trusting again which amazes me to the fullest..

I cannot empathize or sympathize with you on the loss of a child as it has to be the worst pain a parent can feel..I believe that God does things for reasons that we are not to question...I believe that Jordan is by your side every minute of every day guiding you my friend..

I found prayer to also help me and asking God to let me see the light and to allow me to go forward with my life and he has done that for me..

My children are now adults and I have my own life to live now and I actually started dating again after 6 1/2yrs and I'm actually enjoying it and met someone who makes me very happy..

Melissa you are definitely headed in the right direction with councelling and posting here as CC is not only a forum but a 2nd family for me..Melissa and your candor is refreashing because you're not keeping all your feelings locked up inside and that is a great thing..We are all here for you hun..

I have also been very fortunate to have the love and understanding of my wonderful family who taught me uncondional love even though they all think I'm totally nuts, but in a good way..if thats possible..lol..

Melissa things will get better for you and your cloud will be lifted when you least expect it and you will feel unbelievably happy and fortunate for the experience as you wouldn't be the person you are today if not for all the things you have gone through..

Life is a struggle every day for everyone, whether people admit or not..What I love about us is that we're not afraid to admit it and our experiences may help others by talking about them...and thats a great thing..

didn't mean to write a book here so I will stop now as I could go on and on..lol..

Much love and respect to you hun...

Sarah

lol sarah you could go on and on could you...well id never have believed that lmaoooooooo....joking lol but nice post im sure it will help a lot of people and melissa im glad you are finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel... lol knowing my luck if i ever see light at the end of the tunnel it would be a train heading straight for me lmaoo

Sarah, thankyou for the post ,and for sharing your own experiences of depression-it really does mean a lot to me.And i am so glad that you are in a happy place now and long may it continue .I've learnt to just take one day at a time and if today is a bad day then to just feel it go through it and look to the next day being a better one.
thankyou Sharon and Broxi -you always manage to make me smile as your posts always see the lighter side of things ,thankyou!!

Without pain there is no delight in pleasure....without anxiety there is no enjoying peace...without rain there is no loving the sunshine.

I know of no one who hasn't gone through extreme hardships at least once in their life...most of us have several times. For me, getting through involves the handful or really true friends I've been blessed to find in life along with a supportive, yet non-"enabling" family that always sticks together no matter what. The one thing that these close friends and family have in common is a strong belief in God. I never understood how anyone without a belief in a "higher power" survives. Life, for me anyway, would be impossible without it to help and guide me and rely on in the darkest of times. My beliefs teach that you won't be tested more than you can handle, but you will be stretched to the limit. My best qualities and character attributes have come from the hard times in life, not the easy times

That's my 2 cents, which is, coincidentally, about the same amount in my wallet so I better get to work. Thank you Crushers for sharing and I'm proud to part of a forum where people who have never met can connect and care for each other from all over the globe.

Hi,


Al I just knew you had a sensitive an vulneralbe side..I loved your post and had tears in my eyes when I watched the 99 balloons video...thanks for sharing hun..


Hugs,

Sarah

p.s. Remember I still own your sorry ass and just because you show your sensitive & vulnerable side (which was beautiful) I'm not releasing you unless Dollie comes up with a heck of a lot of $$$s

Just wanted to say that I am both honored and proud to be one of you.

I would also like to request that you, especially Allight, but also kelmel and sisters, please respond to gjr, (Gloria), the original poster in this thread -- because I feel that she needs you.

Every time I try to respond to her, I start crying too hard to even type, much less think of any HELPFUL words.

I will just say to you all: I have been there. And am not out of there yet.

I understand exactly what Al was saying and believe the same way -- the Agony and the Ecstacy. However much of one you experience is what sets the limit of how much of the other you experience. You cannot have one without the other, because there would be no way to understand the difference.

In the whole universe, everything has an opposite, and those opposites are always experienced to the same degree. They exist to the same degree, and one could not exist without the other.

God made the world that way to keep it in balance, I believe. It may even be what keeps the little ball called Earth hanging there in space, each one of our lives like a grain of sand on that ball. Grains of sand with the ability to feel worlds of misery and happiness.

God, how I wish I could be more help to you all.

Bobbie/Royal/RC

OMG Al that 99 balloons was a tear jerker..didn't know you had that side in ya as you dont normally show it.