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Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:18 am IDIOT REWARDS
Idiot Number One
>
> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
> poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
> she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
> that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
> daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
> conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
> poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
> bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away!
>
> Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride..
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Idiot Number Two
>
> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
> a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
> out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on
> the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It
> turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
> beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
> employed at Boeing.
>
> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Idiot Number Three
>
> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
> Branch and wrote this, "Put all your muny in this bag." While standing
> in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that
> someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
> reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and
> crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes
> in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it
> and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
> light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup
> note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that
> he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back
> to Bank of America.
>
> Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was
> arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
> America.
>
> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Idiot Number Four
>
> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that;
> measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
> received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
> of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
> Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
> contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately
> mailed in his $40. Wise guy...
>
> But you still get a sign
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Five
>
> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
> all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash
> in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
> counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as
> well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you
> are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
> give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the
> robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
> clerk.
>
> The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
> and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
> with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name
> and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested
> the robber two hours later.
>
> This guy definitely needs a sign.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Idiot Number Six
>
> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
> revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
> moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
>
> This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Idiot Number Seven
>
> Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
> he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
> booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
> head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
> unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
> The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
> Yep, here's your sign.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Idiot Number Eight
>
> I live in a semi-rural area. (Weyauwega, Wisconsin). We recently had
> a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request
> the removal of the 'Deer Crossing' sign on our road.
>
>
> The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't
> think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
>
>
> STAY ALERT! They walk among us. They REPRODUCE...and They VOTE!!!
>
> Never forget that taking a bow and ducking are essentially the same
> thing.
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USD (US Dollars)
