Christmas Contest Day #26 - Christmas Jokes Closed

OrangeCrush

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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 1:22 am
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LOL

You know, that’s not a candy cane in my pocket…

I’m just THAT happy to see you

crzynana2001

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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 1:22 am
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Q: Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer?
A: Spruce Springsteen

mlj774
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 2:13 am
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IF YOUR LEFT LEG WAS THANKSGIVING, AND YOUR RIGHT LEG IS CHRISTMAS,
CAN I COME VISIT YOU BETWEEN THE HOLIDAYS ?

OrangeCrush

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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 2:42 am
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Oh my LMAO

Why does Santa always come through the chimney?

Because he knows better than to try the back door

Shirlsplay
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 4:11 am
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There's nothing like the joy on a kid's face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas.

r8er4ever
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 4:12 am
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How do you know when Santa's in the room? You can sense his presents

mlj774
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 4:13 am
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WHAT DO CHRISTMAS TREES AND PRIEST'S HAVE IN COMMON ?

THEIR BALLS ARE JUST FOR DECORATION.

gjr1961
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 4:48 am
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Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.

OrangeCrush

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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 4:55 am
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Why was the snowman smiling?

He could see the snowblower coming down the street

mlj774
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:43 am
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DEAR SANTA,

I'VE BEEN GOOD ALL YEAR. OKAY MOST OF THE TIME. ONCE IN AWHILE...

FORGET IT, I'LL BUY MY OWN SH$T...LOL

OrangeCrush

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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:10 am
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LOL That would be me every year LOL

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Claustrophobic lol

crzynana2001

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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 11:05 am
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Who is Santa's favorite singer?

Elf-is Presley

OrangeCrush

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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 12:23 pm
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What cars do elves drive?

A toyYoda. lol

mlj774
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 1:20 pm
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HOW DO YOU SCARE A SNOWMAN ?

SHOW HIM YOUR HAIRDRYER !

win4maw
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:46 pm
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Jennifer was a pretty 18 year old girl. In the week before Christmas she sauntered up to the curtain counter, and was trying to decide which of the many types of tinsel she would buy. Finally, she made her choice and asked the spotty youth who was manning the fabric section. 'How much is this gold tinsel garland'.
The spotty youth pointed to the Christmas mistletoe above the counter and said, 'This week we have a special offer, just one kiss per metre'.
'Wow, that's great', said Jennifer, 'I'll take 12 metres'.
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the boy measured out the tinsel, wrapped up the garland, and gave it to Jennifer.
She then called to an old man who had been browsing through the Christmas trees and said, 'My Grandpa will settle the bill.'

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