A Little Something For Us "oldies"

Go to Heaven for the climate,
to Hell for the company..
As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don' really give a rat's a$$ anymore.

If walking is good for your health,
the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water,
but still is fat.
A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
While a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing,
yet lives for 150 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.
Just grant me the senility to forget people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I am older here is what I have discovered:

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
It was a while lot easier to get older than to get wiser.
Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.
I wish the buck really stopped here; I sure could use a few of them.
Kids in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause kids.
It's hard to make a comback when you haven't been anywhere.
The world only beats a path to your door when you are in the bathroom.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
When I am finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I am "here after."
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

Have I sent this message to you before???

LOL!!!So very true Val.

You said a mouthful.. all true .. at least in my case

Does anyone know who won the Sept. Posting contest ?

I love it, I may have read it somewhere before, but I can't be sure....I don't remember !

You hit the nail on the head Valeria ... dammit LOL

Maggie, the results have been posted, they are at the bottom of the contest page. If I recall I think you won a couple of contests hun.

Here is the link for the Casino Crush Contest and the other closed contests are below that:

https://www.casino-crush.com/bb2/casino-crush-contest-winners-announced-vt46353.html

When we announce the winners of a contest we take them down from being an "announcement" and make them a "regular" post which puts them at the bottom of the page of the contest thread. Then after a few days we move them to the archieves.

omg! too funny!